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19.7.10

the sound of love and death


i had to put my cat down on the weekend. she had been with me for 14 years and i cannot tell you how much i miss her already. it's crazy hurty at she sees red HQ right now.

something i've been thinking about during that time is related to 'their constant loving silences' that a friend used to describe our pets' companionship. it's the sound of her absence that is the biggest, painful silence:


no thump of her jumping on or off the bed
no loud, insistent meow when she heard the crack of a can opening, or the rattle of her catfood packet.
no low adorable rumble of her satisfied purring - the feline vuvuzelas
no sound of licking paws and general grooming
no scratching on the door, asking to be let in/out
no scratching all my magazines, insisting i wake up for her to be fed
no conjugations or diminutive versions of the word pussycat, cat or sweetheart (including poozie, pyjamas, pushkin or gorgeousness)
no concern about the sound of a vacuum cleaner - that machine monster that would drive her under the bed
no sound of three kisses (her particular call)
no gallumph of mad running down the hallway
no growling or hissing
no random skitters across the floor
no taps on the wedgewood saucer, that called for food
no tiny mew when she sees me crying
no general chit chat to a patient and quiet, loving listening cat

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7 Comments:

At 19 July, 2010 08:13, Blogger MildlyCrafty said...

Hi Lauren, I'm so sorry to hear about your cat, my condolences.

I know what you mean about the silence, when I come home and my dog isn't here for some reason it's really eerily quiet, even though when he is here he doesn't make much noise.

 
At 19 July, 2010 09:28, Blogger Will said...

I'm so sorry to hear that. Your cat was brilliant. Losing pets is never nice.

Feel better, Ms B.

 
At 20 July, 2010 04:51, Blogger lauren said...

thank amy - yeah, it's a weird kind of silence.

and thanks to you too will - my cat was brilliant. she bloody loved you, that's for sure! heh.

 
At 22 July, 2010 08:45, Blogger Thorsten said...

We had that few times. The oldest ('Oscar') was 21 years with us. We always said: There will be no compensation - and always later there was a little kitten we had to save from danger.

 
At 22 July, 2010 08:53, Blogger lauren said...

thorsten! i'll be in berlin very soon - AND i'm going to ars electronica too. let's meet up again - i'll get in touch when i've touched german soil :)

 
At 26 July, 2010 09:57, Anonymous Lucas said...

ah, damn sorry to hear that Lauren.

My little fella Ruben had to be put down, nearly two years ago now. I still get really sad thinking about him, he was my pal. And he REALLY liked to eat butter.

What happened with your chocolate buddy?

 
At 28 July, 2010 09:00, Anonymous lauren said...

oh lucas, i'm sad for you too. it's comforting to hear that you still miss ruben. i miss sweetheart like crazy still and i imagine i will for a while.

my chocolate buddy (who was actually black - it's just the light in that pic - heh.) dislocated her hip when i was in sydney back in may. it took us too long to figure out that's what the problem was and the treatment was too intense for a 14-year old puss to deal with.

 

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